Fighting God.

The title of this is actually the title of the sermon that has brought me to this post.

Where to begin is what i'm not really sure of, because there is so much on my heart that i feel needs to be said.

Suppose i'll begin with a basic overview of the sermon.

Basically it was talking about how we have these "plans" laid out for our lives that we want to fall into place EXACTLY how we made them, no matter what! However, when God changes those plans we are very quick to say "no, God, not gonna do it." or whine about it saying "thats not fair God, why do You have to be so mean."  It went onto say that our plans for our lives will NEVER bring about blessings. ONLY OBEDIENCE to GOD'S PLANS for our lives will! And we have to run astray from the plans we have made and be obedient to His plans, no matter how tough it may be!

This sermon was preached a week ago from this past sunday. It was one of those sermons that you walk away thinking "that is JUST what i needed" and it allowed God to REALLY get ahold of your heart on a variety of things. One thing in particular God REALLY spoke to me on. 

During worship, before the sermon, i was really asking God to focus my heart and show me what i needed to be shown, and especially in a certain situation. That situation being things going on at home. One that has been a real burden on my heart for a while but never really fully sank in and bugged me until July. Basically, I couldn't recall the last time I heard from EITHER of my parents "I Love You." I always was aware of it, but one day in Ecuador was when it was REALLY tough. I had called my mom and it would be the only time i would be able to talk to her until i got home, which she was fully aware of. I couldn't recall the last time she told me she loved me, even at the airport leaving she didn't, and in all reality it could have been the last time she EVER saw me. I talk to her for not even one minute before i have to go and i prayed and hoped she would say those three words, considering it could quite likely be the last time she ever spoke to me. She didn't. and it killed me inside. 

Once i got back from Ecuador it really was a big burden on my heart. Especially because adults who aren't even family tell me they love me all the time. It was something constantly in my prayers, that God would bring about change in that situation. 

Quite recently I have been struggling living at home, and I thought of all the ways to move. Doors opened that seemed AWESOME for me to move out, and the more i prayed about it, the more i knew it was NOT God's will. THAT bugged the HECK outta me! I feel like i'm living under a roof with a bunch of strangers!

During this sermon God REALLY laid on my heart that i couldn't keep following MY plan of getting out of here, and avoiding the situation He had put me in and i needed to just lay the issue at His feet and allow HIM to take care of it, because after all, He is in control, and it is HIS PLAN, NOT MINE!

I prayed that God would allow me to not fight the situation i am in and trust Him to pull me through it and see the situation to the end to come out for the best according to His will.

NOT EVEN three hours later, i was in Joann's Fabric/Craft Store just browsing around and i get a phone call from my mom. She was just checkin up on what i was doing today,ect. When it came time to hang up the phone she said those three words i hadn't heard in God only knows how long! Standing by the back wall of fabric at joanns I was in such shock I hung up the phone and almost started bawling. It was a HUGE answered prayer and my surrender to God's plan not even three hours prior i felt had a BIG role in this!

THEN: This past sunday, a week later, I had just left Impact(church thing) and typically if i'm alone in my car after church or a church type function, i'll turn on KLTY sing a song or two then turn it off and just pour my heart out to God. My car is my "happy place" to talk to God, i guess you could call it. ITs odd, yes, but true. I had just got done talking to my mentor about different things and she was advising me to just lay it ALL at God's feet;which i knew, just hadn't done in full. Just as i had done with the specific thing the prior sunday. Once again i did, and not just with my family situation but, with EVERY THING. I kid you NOT even 10 minutes prior to that in depth conversation with God, i get a call from my dad. This was probably one of the first conversations we have had in a LONG time that didn't have ANY sort of negativity in it. And in addition to that, before he hung up i heard him say "night sweetie, love you." As i am typing this i am beginning to tear up at the significance of this all. I could NOT believe my ears. I had to hold back the tears because i was driving and it was dark and rainy and did NOT wanna wreck. But it was SUPER emotional and i could NOT praise God enough for it! 

Basically, I'm trying to say that the statement "Your plan for your life will NOT bring about blessings, but obedience to God's plan WILL bring about blessings" is SO true. I never imagined God to work like that, and that quickly after surrendering obedience to HIS PLAN. I was overwhelmed with His power and love; still am. 

It is such a blessing to be loved by a God who does things like this and at time LEAST expected!!

...

Realization-gotta love...readdd itt(:

Over-analyzing.

Ok so yes i have a problem with over-analyzing certain situations, or things..well more like EVERYTHING! Sometimes it gets me in trouble, cause i worry WAY too much and think the worst possible outcomes and DONT stay positive. But then sometimes it brings me to an odd point of realization sorta of an "ah hah" moment that really puts me in awe of God. 

Where to start...

During Summer of 2008 I got on a REALLY rocky path. Got into somethings I shouldn't have and KNEW they weren't the "wise thing to do" yet I still fell to the devil's temptations and carried out with them. After I had carried out the actions I had, I felt MISERABLE. I had just done something(drinking alcohol) i promised myself i would NEVER do, at least not until i was of age and wouldn't allow it to proceed to drunkenness. Well obviously that promise i broke. I continued to beat myself up over it, and ran FAR from God because i was ashamed of what i had done. And i didn't really realize i have been saved by Christ because of sin, like this that we can no avoid even though i knew it. I was and still am a baby Christian. At that point in time i had been a Christian for just a year and was very susceptable to the "old way of life." Even though before I surrendered my life to Christ, i had moral values that were based of Christianity. After the week of "partying" i guess you could call it i FINALLY realized "dang i SCREWED UP." But as i said above, i RAN FAR. When in all reality i should have drawn nearer. For many many months i couldn't understand WHY i did the things i did and God allowed me to do so. I got to the point where i didn't go to church for at least 3 months. I'm the kind of girl that doesn't miss a sunday even if i'm in bed SICK as can be! So that was VERY rare for me. I was NOT in the word and can't recall a time during the 3 months after the rebellion that i even prayed. And now looking back on that, i ask myself "how was i so ignorant to NOT draw near to him." After my mentor at the time had found out about the downfall, she was VERY upset with me. And the following day decided that she did not need to be my mentor any longer. That was ROUGH. She'd been there ever since i had accepted Christ and now for her to kick me to the curb because i'm a sinner did NOT make sense at all! I was at Denton Bible at that time. I would say i'm trying to find a new church, but in all reality, i was just on a rebellion however didn't want to face the truth of that. I had found a church i thought was where God wanted me but after more visits and prayer i knew with all my heart it wasn't. It bugged me not to have a "church family." By oh the end of September, early October i began to get things right with God. Different things happened in my life that slowly drew me back to Him. Around November i visited FBC Prosper. I knew there was something different there than at any other church i had been to. A few more visits and lots of prayer i KNEW that's where God was calling me to. This past January i proceeded with the act of Baptism and became a member. I love my church family. I feel SO comfortable around them. I don't feel as though i have to hide truths from my past to be accepted and i can be completely honest with each and every person i'm doing life with at the church. God REALLY got ahold of my heart in December, more than EVER before. Things started happening that unless i drew near to Him i would NOT have gotten through to this day and would still be struggling with greatly. These various events and trials brought me to many realizations. Several months ago i felt God was calling me to ministry. Where in the ministry i was unaware. I really began praying about it and showing Him the desires of my heart but put His will FIRST. At one point i specifically started praying that "God, if Your will is for me to be in the ministry, please open doors that clearly show me, 'cate this is where I am calling you to."  Shortly after i started praying that specifically a door was opened. I was given the opportunity to travel to Quito, Ecuador to share the gospel with people who quite possibly had NEVER heard of Jesus! About 2 weeks after that ANOTHER door was opened. The lead pastor at my church came to me and asked me to start praying about being apart of the missions team at church. Right there it was sorta a "whoah now! Was that prayer REALLY just answered THAT quickly?" I continued to pray about it and especially that God would slowly show me His will, especially in Ecuador. I knew my call was to Missions in quite a dangerous area of Quito, Ecuador called La Paz while standing in a road up this hill where i shared the gospel with this group of 7 women. It was so overwhelming! As well as the call to missions being revealed to me, God has opened doors for me to serve in ways i NEVER imagined being capable to! I'm now a 6th grade leader and God is using me to pour my life into those girls so out of them hearing my testimony and applying it in ways to their lives He will be glorified! It is SO exciting! How this relates to my poor decision of drinking is:

Because of the poor decision i made God brought about something that has been and continues to be an absolute blessing. This is because of my decision different things took place that called me to a different church where i was put to different trials and learned how to pull through them and doors were opened to a whole new chapter of my life. My dad always says "something good will come out of all this bad" I never believed him fully. I think it was because i had gone through bad for SO long i had forgotten what good looked like in life. As i was over-analyzing every single thing that had occurred over the past 2 years or so, i saw that if i hadn't made that unwise decision i quite possibly wouldn't be where i am now, at least not here the way i got here. I wouldn't have friendships i cherish with certain people, and i would still have a lot of life lessons i would not have learned. I thought it was so crazy how one dumb decision, such as drinking alcohol in this situation could make such a LARGE impact on my life. At first negative impact but in the end brought about good. 

Totally random but i needed to get it written down and was curious of peoples opinions. 

I will lift His name on high!!

woohoo(:

so pumped up for 3 weeks from TODAY!!! that being the day i leave for Ecuador to share the love of Christ! God has shown me and taught me SO much in just this past month. I knew raising $1850 for the trip to Ecuador wouldn't be easy, and i most definitely couldn't do it without God. I kept telling myself to not stress, just put my faith in Him that He would provide if it was His will for me to travel to Ecuador. He has most definitely provided and used certain people as vessels i never imagined He would use! It has been such an awesome and growing experience as i prepare for this trip. I'm currently only $300 away, and am sure God is going to provide it, just have to put my faith in Him! He has already shown me it is His will and that is SO exciting to me. I still don't see the reality of it though. The reality that in 3 weeks i will be boarding a plane and traveling to a third world country where i'll get to share my testimony in a place outside of my comfort zone. I know God has already begun to set up divine appointments for when i travel there and i can't wait to let Him shine through me for the Ecuadorians to see His love!

Now on a not so great note>>>i recently found out that i will have to begin driving to Plano once a week to recieve allergy shots. Not sure for how long, but for quite a while. 

On a better note>>>at this point in time, no immnodeficiency has been discovered and the doc is almost positive i do not have one.

oh another not so great thing>>>>my immunologist at Southwestern wants me to see a Rheumatologist. This is quite scary because i do have many symptoms of RA and they are getting worse, and its been talked about in the past.

I pray that God will continue to heal my body and keep me healthy. Answered prayers continue to occur, and its truly a blessing! I've been healthy for at least 3 months now and its such an incredible feeling!

I'm so thankful for my amazing church family who has been such a great support through all of this! They are SUCH a blessing. I'm so glad to be a part of such a wonderful body of Christians(:

well off to bed soon!

happy red,white and blue dayyy!!!

night!

ECUADOR 2009!!!!!

AHH SO EXCITED to see all God is gonna do!
So last post i had mentioned something bout possibly going to Ecuador for a mission trip if i got the $1000 by june 5th. Well God did something totally amazing and i praise Him with ALL i have for it! So thursaday, june 4th i was $450 short of the amount i needed the next day by about 3pm for my plane ticket and to confirm i was going. if i didn't have the grand by then i wasn't going. And i knew and prayed that if it was God's will for me to go, somehow He'd provide the money. Well i had put as my facebook status that night before bed "Cate is trusting God that somehow He will provide the $450 i need by 3 pm to go to Ecuador on a mission trip." i didn't try to think of any alternate ways to come up with the money, i knew if i didn't have it, it was NOT God's Will for me to go. So i wake up to my brother wanting to see my teeth without braces at about 8am. I then check my phone and see a text message from the lead pastor at my church saying basically a man had given my lead pastor a check for me for $450 at the friday morning men's bible study! i couldn't believe it! Ends up my pastor had seen the status and mentioned it and they had prayed about it at the bible study. God is SO GREAT! I'm SO thankful for that donation. And honestly i don't even know the person. I know the name but don't know them. I knew it was God's will for me to go, and He is going to do something AWESOME there! The trip is July 25-31st and i'm so excited...i still have $850 to raise, but i'm sure God will provide it somehow, He provided the amount to reserve my spot and i'm sure He will provide again!
i love this...God is so awesome!

SO Excited GOD IS SO GREAT!

ok so first off>>broke my macbook with my cell phone..that is no joke..totally serious..i have the WORST luck with cell phones...

secondly>>>God has opened the door for me to go on a Mission Trip to Ecuador with NEXT Worldwide from July 25th-31st!! i am So excited...i'd been praying for God to open the door for a trip if it was His will! And the door was opened! it was actually opened to two, one to Honduras with my church, but its mostly adults. So when i was telling my mentor who happens to be the wife of the president of NEXT she called up her husband and they got me on a trip with teens! I was also told i needed $1000 by JUNE 5th! that sorta in a way stressed me out at first but then i got in my mode i should've been in all along...the "if i don't get the money its obviously NOT God's will for me to go on this specific trip" the exact thing i've been telling my best friend collin who's going to Austria this summer with Denton Bible Church. Well this past monday night i stayed up till 2 am finishing my support letters and addressing them and sealing em...i go to the post office first thing tuesday morning and mail them. One of them i kept though to hand deliver...this gets so awesome! I babysit every tuesday night for the Episcopal Church in Propser. I don't and have never attended there, i'm at FBC Prosper. Well the Priest there had told me the previous week to bring him a support letter when it came time to send them out...so i brought it to him and he then goes to his office and walks out with the 'return' envelope with a check. I go put it in my car just totally in awe of how God works...this being a church i DONT attend! I get in my car to put it up and being the curious and anxious person i am i open the envelope to see how much it was...right then and there i as i saw it i bowed my head thanking God. It was a $100 check. Praise GOD! it hadn't even been 10 hrs since i sent out my letters and i was already a TENTH of the way to where i needed to be by june with! That right there made me think that it really is God's will for me to go. This week has been fantastic...got to meet with my sweet sweet mentor and had a wonderful time...got to see my bestie i NEVER see! And God is working in my life SO much! I LOVE IT! the only possibly bad part of the week was haha actually sorta funny...i was at my Noriss were there and Noriss was doing some safety presentation that day for the little kids...my mom had gotten Jason's Deli ordered for us...well basically turns out i accidentally took and ate half of the captians sandwich instead of MY sandwich which had MAYO on it which he HATES..hahah me of all people would eat the police captains lunch...i felt SO bad..he was nice bout it thankfully.hhahah

OHH and i'm officially a high school GRADUATE as of like almost 3 weeks ago!

hehehe

loves it

night

Senior Share Night>>Impact

Senior Share Night is two weeks from today at Impact, a local church type thing on monday nights where i live for high school students. 

Now i've really been praying on what i want to share and what scripture to put along with it. Right now i'm almost dead set on James 1:2-3, "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when facing various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance." 

This verse has kept me strong the past 5 months, and i KNOW if i had had this verse a year and a half ago my life would have been lived out SO differently. Its been a rough past year and a half and looking at my life now, and how i see things as being good because endurance will come out of it, not as my life is gonna end has made me SUCH a happier person! 

I have 5 minutes to share, and the big issue is i have a lot to put with this verse, i hope its gonna fit all in 5 minutes. 

AND

This friday like 5 days from now, i will officially be done with high school FOREVER!!!

CANNOT WAIT! 

well i need to go work on my essay, so i can be done friday!